Sure, swinging as an erotic lifestyle has been around for quite a while. What has changed, however, is that we now talk about it openly. We live in an exciting time where we have easy access to other people's sexual experiences – both good and not so good.
Are you interested in the topic of “swinging”? No matter if your interest is purely theoretical or if you want to get started right away, here are a few things you should better discuss with your partner beforehand…
Why do you want to swing in the first place?
As is the case with all new sexual experiences, you should first of all talk about it openly. Each of you should put your desires, ideas, fears, fantasies, etc. on the table. This first step is important and the more honest you are, the easier it will be. Maybe there are different reasons why the topic of swinging is so interesting for you. Maybe you are attracted by the fact that it is something extraordinary to try out together with your partner*in, maybe you have simply been thinking about it for quite a while. And now seems like the perfect time to give it a try. It is important to note that swinging can be a way to bring a breath of fresh air into your relationship, but it is also possible that your hopes will not be fulfilled. Swinging should be fun and should only be done by couples who enjoy it one hundred percent. If you only want to save your relationship, then try couples therapy. Seek support from a professional instead of leaving your relationship in the hands of another couple.
The Clou of Swinging
There is no “swinging per se”, it looks different for each couple individually. The good thing is that you can make up your own rules. Maybe you agree to participate together, but to be exclusive with each other. Or you can do everything with everyone as long as your partner is in the room. You can also set evenings when everyone can do what he or she wants. The clearer you make the rules and also the boundaries (for example, what if one is tired and wants to leave early?), the easier it will be to make your adventure a reality. Always remember: consent can be withdrawn later. Just because you've agreed to something doesn't make it a foregone conclusion. It is important to have each other's backs and to always be open and honest about everything.
Build sexual confidence
Sure, healthy sexual confidence never hurts when you want to try something new. Before you start your swinger adventure, you should do something for your sexual self-confidence. For example, you can practice setting boundaries every day, masturbate regularly to find out what you really need, this can be mantras, coaching, etc. The list could go on forever, but this is a highly individual matter. Put together your own first aid kit of things that will specifically boost your sexual confidence. And this will ultimately have quite an attractive effect on others…
Decide who, how, and where to meet
Of course, the pandemic does not help the swinger scene in the least, on the contrary. But the online world is an ideal place to approach the project because there you can find countless couples who have the same interest. You can first get to know each other there in peace before meeting later in real life. There are dating portals for really all needs, so go ahead and find the perfect one for you and your partner!
Make an appointment before you get down to business
Are you a newbie in the field? Then my advice is to take it slow. And then a little slower… Just dating as a couple is so exciting, intense, and adventurous, so enjoy the time with your partner first. Get to know your bodies and preferences (new) and if you are really ready, then go one step further.
Off to the club!
Even if it is not everyone's cup of tea, there are certainly some swingers clubs in your area. Google will be happy to help you! Find a club or party that fits your needs. One thing is clear: The more events you visit, the faster you will build up a hot network.
Especially at the beginning of the swinger life can be a bit discouraging. Simply because you don't even know how and where to start. See it as a challenge to learn more about yourself, your partner, and your preferences. Spend time finding out what you like. Get to know your desires and your limits better. Take care of each other and your relationship and enjoy completely new adventures.