換妻俱樂部裡發生了什麼事？

當您第一次走進搖擺舞俱樂部時，您可能會感到既興奮又緊張。但請放心，沒有什麼好害怕的。Swingers 俱樂部是一個溫馨的空間，讓志同道合的人可以在安全且雙方同意的環境中探索他們的性慾。

在搖擺舞俱樂部，您可以看到不同年齡、形狀和體型的人。每個人都是為了相同的理由而來 - 享受美好時光和探索自己的幻想。參加任何您不習慣的活動都不會有任何壓力，同意始終是關鍵。

在搖擺舞俱樂部內，您可能會目睹各種各樣的活動。有些情侶可能會彼此親熱，有些則可能會與其他賓客交誼。可能會有指定的區域供更私密的接觸，例如遊戲室或更隱密活動的黑暗角落。

在同性戀派對中，您可以看到露陰癖和偷窺癖的混合。有些賓客可能喜歡看別人進行性行為，而其他人可能更喜歡自己參與。派對的氣氛通常是悠閒且不帶批判性的，讓每個人都能自由地表達自己的慾望。

在搖擺俱樂部或性俱樂部發生的一切最終都由您決定。無論您是去觀察、社交或探索自己的底線，這種體驗完全由您自己決定。只要記得與您的伴侶坦誠溝通，並尊重他人的底線，您一定會在搖擺社群中度過難忘愉快的時光。

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對許多人而言，交友俱樂部是他們最先開始使用開放關係的性自由的地方之一。更甚的是，在第一次造訪之前，對於何謂交友俱樂部、俱樂部裡會發生什麼事，以及是否值得去那裡等問題，通常都會存在不確定性和錯誤資訊。

在這方面，唯一能找到的資訊往往是俱樂部自己提供的，而且從邏輯上來看，這似乎不是一個非常可靠的誠實資訊來源。

因此，我想在此告訴您，您到底可以期待些什麼、您可以注意些什麼，當然還要澄清一些常見的偏見！

給你的簡短說明：我在這裡只寫異性搖擺俱樂部。

簡介：什麼是搖擺舞俱樂部？

First of all, a swingers club is a place where people meet who are interested in partner swapping or even just voyeuristic or exhibitionistic behavior. Not everyone who goes to a swingers club wants to have sex with people other than their partner. And not everyone has the same ideas about what is okay and what is not. You have to make these rules for yourself and, if necessary, in agreement with your companion, and they are supported by the fact that a clear no is binding in any case and is protected by the club’s house rules. Who does not keep to a clear no will be kicked out. This rule can be found in absolutely every club, and usually it is explicitly stated somewhere on the homepage.

絕大多數的搖擺舞俱樂部結構都非常類似。您會在接待處付款，通常會拿到一把儲物櫃鑰匙（夫妻共用）。接待處也會詢問您是否曾到過該處，如果沒有，通常會為您提供導遊服務，讓您參觀所有設施，通常不需支付入場費。

某個地方有一個單性更衣室，您可以在那裡換衣服和放東西。有一個酒吧，您通常可以在那裡喝到免費飲料。這通常但不一定包括酒精飲料。此外，通常還會有自助餐，或多或少都會有不錯的食物，這也包含在價格中。

此外，俱樂部通常分為兩個區域，一個是正式區域，另一個是娛樂區域。正式區有我剛才列出的所有東西，通常還有舞池。許多俱樂部都有針對正式區域的著裝規定。大多數時候，這些規定會說，希望穿著時髦或性感的衣服，而且越到晚上，穿什麼衣服就越不重要。大多數時候，您可以穿著內衣或極輕便的衣服，在其他人之前走來走去，而不會被打擾。在這個正式的環節中，您通常只能期待比您習慣的更多裸露的場面。偶爾會發生一些更激烈的撫摸或口交，但大多數情況下，這些活動會很快移到遊戲區。

遊戲區通常有幾個房間，上面鋪有墊子。為了衛生起見，墊子下面會放毛巾，保險套和濕巾也隨手可及。在這些遊戲區中，您可能已經猜到，您可以進行性行為。

The play areas usually have different “themes”. There are smaller and larger play areas and often also areas in which two or four people can withdraw and make the room “closed”, so that no one else comes in. But that doesn’t mean that no one else is watching – you have to expect that.

這些小房間的使用率通常很高，因此如果房間被 「佔用」，您也不必煩惱 - 只要稍等片刻，房間最終會恢復空閒。

The play areas are comfortable for about 8 to 20 people and there is often a voyeuristic element, i.e. even when the play area is “full” there are usually still places to watch from. It’s not surprising that something usually happens in these crowds and sometimes, ironically, more happens there than on the playgrounds themselves.

我應該期待什麼？

首先與此同時，絕對每個搖擺樂俱樂部都有明確的 「不行就是不行 」規則。任何不遵守此規定的人都會被趕出俱樂部，且不退費，並被禁止進入俱樂部。

This rule can be a bit confusing at first, because it forces you to behave differently than you would elsewhere. On the one hand, you have to have the courage to actually say no if you don’t want something. A no can be verbal or it can simply mean that you put away the hand that you suddenly feel somewhere on you. On the other hand, it also gives you security. If you change your mind after a no and you still feel like it, you can cancel your no by communicating clearly again.

光是這項規定就能讓您覺得到搖擺舞俱樂部是非常值得的。在這裡，如果您還沒有這樣做的話，您可以在一個明確規範的框架內活出您自我決定的性生活。

Furthermore, you have to expect that you will see other people having sex. And you must expect to hear and smell these people. Even if you personally do not find these people aesthetically pleasing and normally would not like to look at them naked. Of course you can always just look away, but to know where you don’t want to look, you have seen it before.

This is much less bad than you might think now. At the end of the day, we’re all just people, and even people who don’t meet your own aesthetic standards have fun having sex and a right to do so. That’s all it is. People who appear unhygienic usually don’t even come in. However, the smell in the air may bother you. This has nothing to do with a lack of hygiene, but simply with the fact that many people who have sex produce a particular odor. Especially because there won’t be any windows wide open for reasons of discretion.

下一點：如果您和同伴在公共場合玩樂，您可以預期周圍的人也會發生性關係。特別是當這些人的身體距離很近時，有可能在某個時候會有一隻手小心翼翼地摸過去，先碰觸到肩膀或腿等無害的地方。

If you don’t want that to happen, you can put your hand away at that point or speak up against it. You can also say “Stop.” at any later time. However, you should feel able to do this when visiting a swingers club. If for some reason you and/or your companion are not able to set boundaries, I would advise against a visit to a swingers club.

If you have chosen a club that allows solo males, you can expect that there will be masturbating men somewhere. You should take that into account in this case. Most of the time, it doesn’t take much more than body language to let these men know that they can’t do more than look. From an appropriate distance, however, they can not be stopped from watching. (And no, don’t worry, you won’t get splashed, that would result in a ban for the respective gentlemen). Often there is also an area where only couples have access.

您或您的同伴或兩人一起被搭訕的情況也可能發生。不過，這些搭訕的嘗試通常比在一般夜店環境中要害羞和安靜得多。

It is also common to have several small groups of people who already know each other and also mainly talk to each other, with little approaching of new people. If you are shy, you may feel like you are the only ones who don’t know anyone else. But you can quickly change that if you simply approach someone from these groups in a friendly and open manner, or look around to see who else is there “alone”.

否則，您完全不用害怕。

如果是這樣的話，為什麼這麼多人這麼害怕交友和情侶俱樂部呢？事實上，任何人都可以去那裡和他們的伴侶一起看真人色情片嗎？是的，沒錯，您可以這麼做！進入交配俱樂部並不意味著您必須與他人發生性關係，甚至完全不需要活躍的性行為。如果您願意的話，您也可以只是去吃吃喝喝。(我可以向每一位女性推薦這個選擇。女性通常幾乎無需支付 Swingers 俱樂部的入場費，但稍後再詳述）。

儘管如此，到訪搖擺舞俱樂部的人並不那麼普遍，在我看來，這是由於一些偏見和錯誤的資訊造成的。

偏見：事實與迷思
偏見：那裡只有老人
很多年輕人都有一種偏見，認為揮桿是 60 歲以上的人才會做的事，因此他們大多會在這些俱樂部找到視他們為「鮮肉」的老先生。簡而言之： 事實並非如此。

許多搖擺舞俱樂部的觀眾平均年齡在 35 到 45 歲之間。經驗顯示，年齡範圍從 18 歲到 75 歲，也就是說，是的，有一些人的年紀比較大。但不僅如此。這也取決於俱樂部有哪些觀眾，通常只要用一個小把戲，就可以比較簡單快速地找出來。(我在文章中會進一步解釋這個技巧）。

如果年紀較大的人會讓您感到不安，也有特別的年輕夫婦之夜，平均年齡不到 30 歲。

請注意：這些課程通常會提前幾個月預訂。年輕人的需求量肯定很大。

偏見：那裡只有乞丐
Many people think that most people in the swinger scene are “simple-minded” or simply stupid. I don’t know where this prejudice comes from, but I can say that it is not true.

事實是：交友場所是一個貫穿（幾乎）所有社會階級的地方。在那裡，你會遇見受過教育的人，有辦公室工作的人和有博士學位的人，等等等等。在那裡，你不僅會遇到你自己的社會環境，也會遇到你在其他方面較少交往的人。只有較弱的社會階級通常不會在這裡出現，因為他們根本付不起入場費。

偏見：那裡只有專業的女士
這也是一種偏見，事實並非如此。我不懂法律，但到目前為止，我在每個網頁上都發現，無論是最小的省級俱樂部，都有明確不歡迎職業性工作者的規定，如果懷疑有人是來賺錢的，就應該立即舉報。

It may be that there are such clubs. However, a quick internet search leads to an extremely clear result. Why should it be different? People who want to buy sexual services go to a brothel and not to a swingers club. So, apart from a few black sheep that may exist, there is no sex for sale in the swinger scene. Everyone pays admission and that’s it. You don’t buy a guarantee of sex, even if it is sometimes claimed otherwise at men’s surplus parties.

偏見：換妻者是多性者
A prejudice I once had myself for a while is the idea that everyone who goes to a swingers club also has an open relationship. That’s not the case. Some couples actually go there just to see and be seen, and many other couples have clear rules about how far they want to go. Many there don’t even want a partner swap and I was admittedly surprised at first when I realized this myself for the first time.

And to emphasize it again very clearly: Very few swingers live polyamory. So you really don’t need to go there if you hope to find a complement for your open relationship. The swinger scene is even one of the last places where I would do that. Swingers have often shed the restriction of sexual exclusivity in an impressive way – but only within this strictly defined framework. Many do absolutely nothing outside of such events and almost all of them exclude an emotional connection to another partner. Of course, you can meet someone now and then for whom this is different – but it is not the rule.

俱樂部的選擇：搖擺舞俱樂部還是情侶俱樂部？
首先應該注意的是，不同的搖擺俱樂部之間有很大的差異。有些俱樂部不稱為搖擺舞俱樂部，而稱為情侶俱樂部，因為那裡會招收混合性別的情侶，而不是個人。您和同伴之間的確切關係不會被檢查。

這時候您就可以開始選擇俱樂部了：你想要什麼？你敢做什麼？你的要求是什麼？

情侶俱樂部的優點是那裡沒有單身男士。傳統的搖擺舞俱樂部主要由單身男士提供資金，而情侶俱樂部，顧名思義，只讓情侶進入。這表示每一位到場的淑女或紳士都有一位對等的伴侶，因此不會出現性別比例不平等的情況。特別是如果您還是有點不確定，您可以選擇情侶俱樂部作為開始。那裡的許多情侶也是第一次進入交配場景，因此相當缺乏安全感。因此，平均來說，發生的情況較少，因為許多人（尚未）敢於冒犯。

長久以來，我對於也允許男性獨處的交換性俱樂部都有偏見，但我被教導得更好。

換妻俱樂部的第一個明顯優勢是：它們便宜得多。情侶付的錢較少，單身女士通常幾乎不用付錢。獨處的男士要付更多錢，而且在門口有更嚴格的選擇。

This is also immediately a tip to any woman reading here: If you are a crazy nature and like to experience something new, grab a girlfriend and go with her to such a club. You won’t get cheaper food and drink as much as you want anywhere, in addition of course to the evening entertainment and the dance floor. You don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to – you can if you want to.

第二個好處是您有更多選擇。情侶俱樂部不如蕩婦俱樂部普遍。在任何情況下，無論您住在德國的哪個鳥巢或天主教區域，您都可以相對地確定在某個地方有一個搖擺舞俱樂部在可接受的範圍內，但情侶俱樂部就不一定了。

最後一個優勢，聽起來可能很荒謬：獨來獨往的男人。

與情侶俱樂部不同的是，有些單身男士對於認識他人有更高的興趣，而且很活躍。如果您和您的伴侶經驗不足，或是在您們的關係中有嫉妒的成分，這可能會讓您和您的伴侶感到不自在。我個人已學會欣賞這種氛圍。儘管我從來沒有對我各自的伴遊中的獨奏紳士們感興趣，但他們確實創造了一種氛圍，在這種氛圍中，有更多的開放和更多的調情 - 因此比在情侶俱樂部中發生得更多。當然，這也取決於俱樂部的確切選擇。

You will probably meet solo ladies, but you should not expect to have a threesome with two women and one man, even if it is possible – don’t count on it.

要對俱樂部做出具體決定，最好的提示首先是首頁和活動本身的描述。許多搖擺舞俱樂部都有 「情侶之夜」，許多俱樂部也有其他各種主題之夜。因此，如果您想和您的伴侶以好奇的情侶身份造訪一個交換性俱樂部，您可能應該選擇這樣的情侶之夜，而不是那裡也有的「硬核 XXL 男性盈餘派對」。當然，除非您願意。

The next good step is to create a profile on Joyclub and see who has signed up for that particular party. Good parties are often booked up months in advance. In addition, you can estimate the average age of the participants, as well as the social class, if you value such things. All this information together usually gives you a pretty good picture of what kind of club it is and what kind of crowd will probably be there that night. This picture is, in my experience, much more accurate than what the clubs themselves give you in terms of age average or what the homepage makes for an impression. That’s why I think Joyclub research is a good solution if you want to take a closer look. You can also find special events in places that are not normally a swingers club. A basic profile is free as a couple at Joyclub.

請注意，有利必有弊！小型家庭俱樂部更容易與人接觸，大型俱樂部則讓您安靜地感受自己的極限。便宜的俱樂部通常有一種令人愉快的親切感，在昂貴的俱樂部中，人們通常看起來更漂亮，如此類推。

我該如何在那裡認識某人？

如果您曾造訪過俱樂部，您可能已經知道這些事情，或者您可以以開放的態度造訪俱樂部來學習這些事情。不過，即使您曾到訪過俱樂部，或對這些東西並不陌生，我也有一些額外的小貼士可以幫助您。

The mistake that many couples make when they go to a club for the first time is that they think everything happens there without them having to do anything. Most women are used to just being flirted with and most men don’t really know how to hit on a couple. Both in combination often leads to many couples being unsure and not really knowing what to do. The other couples present are probably just as insecure, and therefore little or nothing happens in the end. Yet the whole thing is not that difficult. There are basically three good ways to do partner swapping, if that is the goal.

不想被拒絕的人的緩慢方法
The slow way is basically not much different from an everyday flirting situation, except that it’s relatively clear to everyone involved what the deal is. You should try to be relatively on time for the start of the party. This is the phase when everyone is still wandering around the dance area or clustering around the buffet. You just join in this dance, but look for contact. These clubs are usually designed to make it easy to find contact. You can just sit down at the table with another couple or couples. You can stand next to another couple at the bar or on the dance floor, or other random scenarios.

A simple “Hello”, or “Where are you from?” is usually quite enough here, no one expects quantum physics from you. On the contrary, everyone is well aware that having sex with each other is a possibility during the course of the evening, so there is often a high willingness to get to know each other quickly. At any point in the conversation, you can ask directly if the couple in question would like to join you on one of the playgrounds. If you have the feeling that they are not quite sure yet – this can often be because each of them is afraid of catching their own partner off guard – you can simply say that you are going “upstairs” now. Or just go to where the playgrounds are located in the club in question and just see if the two of you follow. If you were sympathetic to each other, this usually works pretty well. If the whole thing doesn’t work, just go back and repeat the procedure – eventually it will work out!

This way is also especially suitable as a solo lady, because here you are in a relatively comfortable position and probably want to avoid making the gentleman’s lady jealous.

耐心不足時的快速方法
The fast way is very similar to the slow way, but it involves a much higher level of eroticism and physical contact. This means you choose a couch or the dance floor rather than the dining area as your point of contact and, after a brief introductory conversation, start kissing and getting hot with your partner. If they are not interested, they usually leave pretty quickly at this point. If they are interested, they usually start to do the same and after a short time the “hands start to wander” to see how the other couple reacts. If the ice is broken to the sexual you can then relatively quickly start to flirt offensively. It doesn’t matter which of you starts it, because the second part of the couple will almost automatically start talking to the corresponding counterpart. The only important thing is that you try not to provoke jealousy by keeping the progress of your flirting synchronized. If you notice that one of the two is moving too fast, or is suspicious of what his or her partner is doing, just push him or her back to their partner. Let the two of them feel safe with each other and give them a chance to leave or talk things out and start over again a little slower if necessary. Or, alternatively, try it with another couple.

超快速的方法，如果您確切知道自己想要什麼。
This way is for all those who don’t really want to get to know anyone, but just want to have sex and swap partners. To my knowledge this way is a speciality of the swinger scene and I haven’t seen it working like this anywhere else.

As soon as you feel like it, go to a playground. Pick one where there is room for several couples. If you are relatively attractive and/or young, it doesn’t matter if the playground is completely empty beforehand – people will come, don’t worry.

就在那裡開始一起玩樂，或者在您感興趣的情侶附近躺下，然後開始玩樂。通常最多只需要幾分鐘就會有第一雙手牽過來或以其他方式接觸。整個過程幾乎是自動進行的，不需要說很多話或做很多努力。

If you are afraid of not being attractive enough, just wait until your chosen couple is a bit more “into it” before approaching. Often the standards of attractiveness become almost completely blurred while you’re aroused, and you’ll probably notice in yourself that your criteria can shift quite a bit and you suddenly enjoy having sex with people who might not have matched your own preferences before. This is not bad or strange, it is simply normal that horniness has this effect. And you can also take advantage of this.

To the best of my knowledge, this “super fast way” works almost always and for almost everyone, although of course not with everyone. By going to a big playground and not to a small corner, you have filtered out the people who are not interested in exchanging partners and touching each other almost from the beginning. Of course, it’s also a bit more random with whom you have fun. But in my opinion, it’s a very interesting experience to realize that maybe that’s not always so important.

此訣竅主要適用於心平氣和的夫婦。獨處的男性最好不要使用此訣竅，因為在那裡它會導致上述的「邊緣手淫者」現象，而真正覺得有吸引力的夫婦是最少的。

秘密提示：調情！
As last I would like to give you still another important tip on the way. In many clubs, just because people often end up having sex with each other, doesn’t mean that they have better basic communication skills.

因此，如果您在這樣的俱樂部中正常地調情並做出努力，就像在野外一樣，您就已經從一般人中脫穎而出了。要有魅力。不要害怕。與他人調情，進行身體接觸，跳舞。談談您覺得在這裡是多麼有趣、您的感覺如何，或是您開車來這裡時非常緊張。通過做這些在日常調情中被視為理所當然的事情，您就有最好的機會與您想要進行性活動的情侶做一些事情。您只需要暫時忘記這個每個人都有的不可告人的目的：「我們一會兒要做愛嗎？」並記住您面前的人是：有正常恐懼和不安全感、喜歡玩樂、喜歡浪漫、喜歡被佔有的人。