换妻俱乐部里会发生什么？

当你第一次走进摇摆舞俱乐部时，可能会感到既兴奋又紧张。但请放心，没有什么可怕的。换妻俱乐部是一个温馨的空间，在这里，志同道合的人可以在安全和自愿的环境中探索他们的性生活。

在换妻俱乐部，你可以看到一群不同年龄、不同体型的人。每个人去那里的目的都是一样的--享受美好时光，探索自己的幻想。参加任何你不喜欢的活动都不会给你带来压力，同意永远是关键。

在换妻俱乐部里，你可能会看到各种各样的活动。有些情侣可能在彼此间进行亲密接触，而有些情侣则可能在与其他客人进行交流和社交。这里可能会有指定的区域用于更私密的接触，比如游戏室或用于更隐蔽活动的黑暗角落。

在换妻派对上，你会看到露阴癖和偷窥癖的混合体。一些客人可能喜欢看别人进行性行为，而另一些客人可能更喜欢自己参与其中。派对的气氛通常轻松惬意，不加评判，让每个人都能自由地表达自己的欲望。

在换妻俱乐部或性俱乐部发生的一切最终取决于你。无论你是去观摩、社交还是探索自己的底线，这种体验完全取决于你自己。只要记住与伴侣坦诚交流，尊重他人的底线，你一定会在摇摆社区度过一段难忘而愉快的时光。

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对许多人来说，交换俱乐部是他们开始真正利用开放式关系中的性自由的最初场所之一。更何况，在第一次去之前，人们往往会对换妻俱乐部究竟是什么、那里会发生什么以及是否值得去那里等问题感到不确定和存在误解。

在这方面，唯一能找到的信息往往是俱乐部自己提供的，从逻辑上讲，这似乎不是一个非常可靠的真实信息来源。

因此，我想在这里告诉大家究竟可以期待什么，可以注意什么，当然还想澄清一些常见的偏见！

还有一个简短的说明：我在这里只写异性交换俱乐部。

介绍：什么是摇摆俱乐部？

First of all, a swingers club is a place where people meet who are interested in partner swapping or even just voyeuristic or exhibitionistic behavior. Not everyone who goes to a swingers club wants to have sex with people other than their partner. And not everyone has the same ideas about what is okay and what is not. You have to make these rules for yourself and, if necessary, in agreement with your companion, and they are supported by the fact that a clear no is binding in any case and is protected by the club’s house rules. Who does not keep to a clear no will be kicked out. This rule can be found in absolutely every club, and usually it is explicitly stated somewhere on the homepage.

绝大多数换妻俱乐部的结构都非常相似。有一个接待处，你可以在那里付费，通常会得到一把储物柜钥匙（夫妻共用）。在那里，还会问你以前是否去过那里，如果没有去过，通常会为你提供导游服务，让你参观一切，通常不需要支付入场费。

在某个地方有一个男女更衣室，您可以在那里换衣服和放东西。这里有一个酒吧，通常可以免费获得饮料。这通常但不总是包括酒精饮料。此外，通常还有自助餐，食物或多或少都不错，也包含在价格内。

此外，俱乐部通常分为两个区域，一个是正式区域，另一个是娱乐区域。正式区有我刚才列出的所有东西，通常还有舞池。许多俱乐部都有针对正式区域的着装规定。大多数情况下，这些规定是这样的：希望穿得时髦或性感，而且越到晚上，穿什么就越不重要。大多数情况下，你可以在其他人之前穿着内衣或极其轻便的衣服走来走去，而不会被打扰。在这正式的部分，你通常只能期待比你可能习惯的更多的裸体。偶尔会有一些更激烈的爱抚或口交，但大多数情况下，这种活动会很快转移到游戏区。

游戏区通常是几个铺着垫子的房间。为了卫生起见，垫子下面铺有毛巾，安全套和湿巾也触手可及。在这些游戏区，你可能已经猜到了，你可以做爱。

The play areas usually have different “themes”. There are smaller and larger play areas and often also areas in which two or four people can withdraw and make the room “closed”, so that no one else comes in. But that doesn’t mean that no one else is watching – you have to expect that.

这些小房间的使用率通常很高，因此，如果房间被 "占用"，您也不必恼火--只要稍等片刻，房间最终会恢复空闲。

The play areas are comfortable for about 8 to 20 people and there is often a voyeuristic element, i.e. even when the play area is “full” there are usually still places to watch from. It’s not surprising that something usually happens in these crowds and sometimes, ironically, more happens there than on the playgrounds themselves.

我应该期待什么？

首先与此同时，每家摇摆舞俱乐部都有一条明确的 "不行就是不行 "的规定。任何不遵守这一规则的人都会被赶出俱乐部，而且不退还任何费用，并被禁止进入俱乐部。

This rule can be a bit confusing at first, because it forces you to behave differently than you would elsewhere. On the one hand, you have to have the courage to actually say no if you don’t want something. A no can be verbal or it can simply mean that you put away the hand that you suddenly feel somewhere on you. On the other hand, it also gives you security. If you change your mind after a no and you still feel like it, you can cancel your no by communicating clearly again.

仅这一条规则就能让你觉得去换妻俱乐部是非常值得的。在这里，如果你还没有这样做的话，你可以在一个明确规范的框架内实现你的自我性生活。

Furthermore, you have to expect that you will see other people having sex. And you must expect to hear and smell these people. Even if you personally do not find these people aesthetically pleasing and normally would not like to look at them naked. Of course you can always just look away, but to know where you don’t want to look, you have seen it before.

This is much less bad than you might think now. At the end of the day, we’re all just people, and even people who don’t meet your own aesthetic standards have fun having sex and a right to do so. That’s all it is. People who appear unhygienic usually don’t even come in. However, the smell in the air may bother you. This has nothing to do with a lack of hygiene, but simply with the fact that many people who have sex produce a particular odor. Especially because there won’t be any windows wide open for reasons of discretion.

下一点：如果您与同伴在公共场合嬉戏，您可以预期周围的人也会发生性关系。尤其是当这些人的身体距离很近时，有可能在某一时刻，一只手会小心翼翼地伸过来，首先触摸到一个无害的部位，比如肩膀或腿。

If you don’t want that to happen, you can put your hand away at that point or speak up against it. You can also say “Stop.” at any later time. However, you should feel able to do this when visiting a swingers club. If for some reason you and/or your companion are not able to set boundaries, I would advise against a visit to a swingers club.

If you have chosen a club that allows solo males, you can expect that there will be masturbating men somewhere. You should take that into account in this case. Most of the time, it doesn’t take much more than body language to let these men know that they can’t do more than look. From an appropriate distance, however, they can not be stopped from watching. (And no, don’t worry, you won’t get splashed, that would result in a ban for the respective gentlemen). Often there is also an area where only couples have access.

你或你的同伴或你们两人一起被搭讪的情况也可能发生。不过，与通常的夜店环境相比，这些搭讪尝试通常要害羞和安静得多。

It is also common to have several small groups of people who already know each other and also mainly talk to each other, with little approaching of new people. If you are shy, you may feel like you are the only ones who don’t know anyone else. But you can quickly change that if you simply approach someone from these groups in a friendly and open manner, or look around to see who else is there “alone”.

否则，你完全不用害怕。

既然如此，为什么那么多人如此害怕换妻俱乐部和情侣俱乐部呢？其实，谁都可以去那里和自己的同伴一起看色情直播？是的，没错，你可以这么做！进入换妻俱乐部并不意味着你必须与他人发生性关系，甚至完全没有主动性。如果您愿意，也可以只去吃吃喝喝。(我可以向每一位女性推荐这种方式。女性通常几乎不需要支付摇摆俱乐部的入场费，但这一点稍后再谈）。

我认为，游荡者俱乐部之所以没有如此普及，是由于一些偏见和错误信息造成的。

偏见：事实与神话
偏见：那里只有老人
许多年轻人有一种偏见，认为只有 60 岁以上的一代人才会玩秋千，因此，在这些俱乐部里，他们大多会遇到视他们为 "小鲜肉 "的老先生。简而言之：事实并非如此。

许多摇摆舞俱乐部的观众平均年龄在 35 岁至 45 岁之间。经验表明，平均年龄从 18 岁到 75 岁不等，也就是说，确实有一些人年龄较大。但不仅仅如此。这还取决于俱乐部有哪些观众，通常可以通过一个小技巧比较容易和快速地了解到这一点。(我将在文章中进一步解释这个技巧）。

如果老年人的想法让您感到不安，也可以选择平均年龄不到 30 岁的年轻情侣之夜。

请注意：这些活动通常会提前几个月预订。年轻群体的需求量肯定很大。

偏见：那里只有乞丐
Many people think that most people in the swinger scene are “simple-minded” or simply stupid. I don’t know where this prejudice comes from, but I can say that it is not true.

事实是交换场景是一个贯穿（几乎）所有社会阶层的场景。在那里，你会遇到受过教育的人、有办公室工作的人、有博士学位的人等等。在那里，你不仅会遇到自己所处的社会环境，也会遇到那些在其他方面与你关系较少的人。只有社会底层的人通常不会来这里，因为他们根本付不起入场费。

偏见：那里只有职业女性
这也是一种偏见，而事实并非如此。我不了解法律，但迄今为止，我在每一个网站的主页上都发现了这样一条规定，无论是最小的省级俱乐部，都明确表示不欢迎职业性工作者，如果怀疑有人是来赚钱的，应立即举报。

It may be that there are such clubs. However, a quick internet search leads to an extremely clear result. Why should it be different? People who want to buy sexual services go to a brothel and not to a swingers club. So, apart from a few black sheep that may exist, there is no sex for sale in the swinger scene. Everyone pays admission and that’s it. You don’t buy a guarantee of sex, even if it is sometimes claimed otherwise at men’s surplus parties.

偏见：Swingers are poly
A prejudice I once had myself for a while is the idea that everyone who goes to a swingers club also has an open relationship. That’s not the case. Some couples actually go there just to see and be seen, and many other couples have clear rules about how far they want to go. Many there don’t even want a partner swap and I was admittedly surprised at first when I realized this myself for the first time.

And to emphasize it again very clearly: Very few swingers live polyamory. So you really don’t need to go there if you hope to find a complement for your open relationship. The swinger scene is even one of the last places where I would do that. Swingers have often shed the restriction of sexual exclusivity in an impressive way – but only within this strictly defined framework. Many do absolutely nothing outside of such events and almost all of them exclude an emotional connection to another partner. Of course, you can meet someone now and then for whom this is different – but it is not the rule.

俱乐部选择：摇摆舞俱乐部还是情侣俱乐部？
首先需要指出的是，不同的换妻俱乐部之间存在很大差异。有些俱乐部不叫摇摆舞俱乐部，而叫情侣俱乐部，因为那里接纳的是异性情侣，而不是个人。您和同伴之间的确切关系不会受到检查。

这就是你可以开始选择俱乐部的地方：你想要什么？你敢做什么？你的要求是什么？

情侣俱乐部的优势在于那里没有单身男人。传统的摇摆俱乐部主要由单身男子出资，而情侣俱乐部顾名思义，只允许情侣进入。这就意味着，每一位到场的女士和男士都有一位对应的伴侣，因此不会出现男女比例不平等的情况。特别是如果您还有些不确定，可以选择情侣俱乐部作为开始。那里的许多情侣也是第一次接触性爱，因此相当缺乏安全感。因此，平均而言，发生的情况较少，因为很多人（还）不敢冒犯。

很长时间以来，我对也允许男人独处的摇摆人俱乐部抱有偏见，但我被教导得更好了。

秋千俱乐部的第一个明显优势是：价格便宜得多。情侣支付的费用较低，独身女士通常几乎不需要支付任何费用。独身男士的费用要高得多，而且在门口有更严格的选择。

This is also immediately a tip to any woman reading here: If you are a crazy nature and like to experience something new, grab a girlfriend and go with her to such a club. You won’t get cheaper food and drink as much as you want anywhere, in addition of course to the evening entertainment and the dance floor. You don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to – you can if you want to.

第二个优势是您有更多的选择。情侣俱乐部不如换偶俱乐部常见。无论如何，无论您住在德国的哪个巢穴或天主教地区，您都可以比较肯定地认为，在您可以接受的范围内，某个地方一定会有一家换妻俱乐部，但夫妻俱乐部的情况就不一定了。

最后一个优势听起来很荒谬：独行侠。

与情侣俱乐部不同的是，有些单身男士对了解他人有着浓厚的兴趣，而且非常活跃。如果你和你的同伴缺乏经验或在你们的关系中存在嫉妒，这可能会让你们感到不自在。我个人已经学会欣赏这种氛围。尽管我从未对与我的伴游们一起独处的男士们感兴趣，但他们确实营造了一种更开放、更多调情的氛围--因此比在情侣俱乐部里发生得更多。当然，这也取决于俱乐部的具体选择。

You will probably meet solo ladies, but you should not expect to have a threesome with two women and one man, even if it is possible – don’t count on it.

对俱乐部做出具体决定的最佳提示首先是主页和活动本身的描述。许多摇摆俱乐部都有 "情侣之夜"，许多俱乐部还有其他各种主题之夜。因此，如果您想和同伴以一对好奇的情侣身份参观一家换妻俱乐部，您可能应该选择这样的情侣之夜，而不是那里也会举办的 "XXL 硬核男性过剩派对"。当然，除非您愿意。

The next good step is to create a profile on Joyclub and see who has signed up for that particular party. Good parties are often booked up months in advance. In addition, you can estimate the average age of the participants, as well as the social class, if you value such things. All this information together usually gives you a pretty good picture of what kind of club it is and what kind of crowd will probably be there that night. This picture is, in my experience, much more accurate than what the clubs themselves give you in terms of age average or what the homepage makes for an impression. That’s why I think Joyclub research is a good solution if you want to take a closer look. You can also find special events in places that are not normally a swingers club. A basic profile is free as a couple at Joyclub.

要知道，有利必有弊！小的家庭俱乐部更容易与人接触，大的俱乐部可以让你平静地感受自己的极限。便宜的俱乐部往往有一种令人愉快的亲切感，而在昂贵的俱乐部，人们往往看起来更漂亮，诸如此类，不一而足。

我怎样才能在那里认识一个人？

如果你以前去过俱乐部，你可能已经知道了所有这些事情，或者你可以通过以开放的心态参观俱乐部来学习这些事情。不过，我还有一些额外的建议，即使你以前去过俱乐部，或者对这些并不陌生，也可能对你有所帮助。

The mistake that many couples make when they go to a club for the first time is that they think everything happens there without them having to do anything. Most women are used to just being flirted with and most men don’t really know how to hit on a couple. Both in combination often leads to many couples being unsure and not really knowing what to do. The other couples present are probably just as insecure, and therefore little or nothing happens in the end. Yet the whole thing is not that difficult. There are basically three good ways to do partner swapping, if that is the goal.

不想被拒绝的人的慢方法
The slow way is basically not much different from an everyday flirting situation, except that it’s relatively clear to everyone involved what the deal is. You should try to be relatively on time for the start of the party. This is the phase when everyone is still wandering around the dance area or clustering around the buffet. You just join in this dance, but look for contact. These clubs are usually designed to make it easy to find contact. You can just sit down at the table with another couple or couples. You can stand next to another couple at the bar or on the dance floor, or other random scenarios.

A simple “Hello”, or “Where are you from?” is usually quite enough here, no one expects quantum physics from you. On the contrary, everyone is well aware that having sex with each other is a possibility during the course of the evening, so there is often a high willingness to get to know each other quickly. At any point in the conversation, you can ask directly if the couple in question would like to join you on one of the playgrounds. If you have the feeling that they are not quite sure yet – this can often be because each of them is afraid of catching their own partner off guard – you can simply say that you are going “upstairs” now. Or just go to where the playgrounds are located in the club in question and just see if the two of you follow. If you were sympathetic to each other, this usually works pretty well. If the whole thing doesn’t work, just go back and repeat the procedure – eventually it will work out!

This way is also especially suitable as a solo lady, because here you are in a relatively comfortable position and probably want to avoid making the gentleman’s lady jealous.

耐心不足时的快速方法
The fast way is very similar to the slow way, but it involves a much higher level of eroticism and physical contact. This means you choose a couch or the dance floor rather than the dining area as your point of contact and, after a brief introductory conversation, start kissing and getting hot with your partner. If they are not interested, they usually leave pretty quickly at this point. If they are interested, they usually start to do the same and after a short time the “hands start to wander” to see how the other couple reacts. If the ice is broken to the sexual you can then relatively quickly start to flirt offensively. It doesn’t matter which of you starts it, because the second part of the couple will almost automatically start talking to the corresponding counterpart. The only important thing is that you try not to provoke jealousy by keeping the progress of your flirting synchronized. If you notice that one of the two is moving too fast, or is suspicious of what his or her partner is doing, just push him or her back to their partner. Let the two of them feel safe with each other and give them a chance to leave or talk things out and start over again a little slower if necessary. Or, alternatively, try it with another couple.

如果你清楚地知道自己想要什么，那就是超快的方法。
This way is for all those who don’t really want to get to know anyone, but just want to have sex and swap partners. To my knowledge this way is a speciality of the swinger scene and I haven’t seen it working like this anywhere else.

As soon as you feel like it, go to a playground. Pick one where there is room for several couples. If you are relatively attractive and/or young, it doesn’t matter if the playground is completely empty beforehand – people will come, don’t worry.

就在那里开始一起找乐子吧，或者在你感兴趣的情侣附近躺下，然后开始找乐子。通常最多只需要几分钟，第一双手就会游走过来或以其他方式接触。整个过程几乎是自动进行的，不需要费多大的口舌和力气。

If you are afraid of not being attractive enough, just wait until your chosen couple is a bit more “into it” before approaching. Often the standards of attractiveness become almost completely blurred while you’re aroused, and you’ll probably notice in yourself that your criteria can shift quite a bit and you suddenly enjoy having sex with people who might not have matched your own preferences before. This is not bad or strange, it is simply normal that horniness has this effect. And you can also take advantage of this.

To the best of my knowledge, this “super fast way” works almost always and for almost everyone, although of course not with everyone. By going to a big playground and not to a small corner, you have filtered out the people who are not interested in exchanging partners and touching each other almost from the beginning. Of course, it’s also a bit more random with whom you have fun. But in my opinion, it’s a very interesting experience to realize that maybe that’s not always so important.

这个技巧主要适用于心态平和的夫妻。独身男士最好不要使用这个技巧，因为在那里，这反而会导致上述 "边缘手淫者 "现象的出现，而且真正有吸引力的情侣也寥寥无几。

秘诀：调情！
As last I would like to give you still another important tip on the way. In many clubs, just because people often end up having sex with each other, doesn’t mean that they have better basic communication skills.

因此，如果你能像在野外一样，在这样的俱乐部里正常调情并做出努力，你就已经从普通人中脱颖而出了。要有魅力。不要害怕。与他人调情，进行身体接触，跳舞。谈谈你觉得来这里有多有趣，你的感觉如何，或者你开车来这里时非常紧张。通过做这些在日常调情中理所当然的事情，你就有了最好的机会与你想发生性关系的情侣做一些事情。你只需暂时忘掉 "我们待会儿会做爱吗？"这种每个人都有的不可告人的目的，记住你面前的这个人：他们有正常的恐惧和不安全感，喜欢玩乐，喜欢浪漫，喜欢被占有。